Adventures In Parodyverse: Act Of Desperation, Part 4

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Adventures In Parodyverse - Act of Desperation, Part 4

    Hatman watched silently, unmoving, as his prey finally entered the ground floor of the building he was watching. He wore a bowler hat made of bronze, causing his skin to mimic the metal perfectly and giving him the appearance of a bronze statue.

    The man he stalked was Patient Zero. He only knew that because the guy entered the room with a small posse and one of them referred to him as 'master'. It made perfect sense that such an egomaniac would force his minions to call him by such a cliche title.

    Then, finally, came the golden question.

    "Who ordered this statue?" Patient Zero asked.

    The posse looked at each other. "Do you like it?" one of them asked. Hatman nearly rolled his eyes, sure that the idiot would try and take credit for him being there if possible.

    Patient Zero shrugged. "I think I'd rather convert it to solid gold."

    Hatman had been discovered. It was easy to guess that from Liu Xi explaining to him how her elemental power worked - she had to exchange equal parts of one element to get another. She couldn't just swap bronze for gold if there was no gold available. Patient Zero was trying to scare him into moving to alert the posse.

    "Patient Zero!" a female voice boomed throughout the lobby. "You're under arrest!" Hatman recognized Yuki's voice, but he couldn't see where she was.

    "The cops are here?" one of the posse asked.

    "Idiot," Patient Zero seethed. He started looking around the lobby. "Find her," he ordered.

    Hatman clenched his teeth. He knew Yuki couldn't resist making her presence known, and he had to beat her to it for her own safety. He suddenly sprang into motion, swapping the bronze bowler for his trusty steelers cap.

    "Crap," Yuki whispered to herself as she watched Hatman change from bronze to steel. "Bad move. With all this concrete around, if you're pure steel he'll turn you to stone...unless--" She took a deep breath released her hands and feet from between two ceiling rafters, planning to drop to the ground directly behind Patient Zero. As she fell she wondered just where Chiaki went.

    Just as Yuki hit the ground she realized she was too late. Patient Zero gestured and Hatman turned into solid stone. The stone altar that was once in the room was now made of solid steel. She growled and grabbed Patient Zero from behind, choking him with her arm...

    ...and then she froze suddenly. Like Liu Xi, Patient Zero could sense that her skeleton was made of a titanium alloy. She looked down and noticed the crushed concrete she was standing on was now a slippery bowl of solid titanium. She crumpled to the floor, helpless, as she realized her new cement bones were broken and cracked.

    "No," she whined to herself, "I can't lose this way. I can't die helpless."

    Patient Zero stood over her, smiling dangerously. He was holding a sledgehammer. That's when she realized the titanium alloy case holding her brain was about to be compromised.

    That's when Chiaki appeared with a rather interesting artifact. She wore a very large round hat that almost covered over her eyes completely. Yuki noted silently that it reminded her of those lightning mages in 'Big Trouble in Little China'. Her eyes widened as it dawned on her why Chiaki brought it...

    ...just as Chiaki slipped it silently over Hatman's head. The Serious Matter in his head being unaffected by his current elemental state, it transformed him back to Hatman again instantly. He blinked once and inhaled deeply, pausing before exhaling. He made a fury of sound, and rapid gestures with his hands as lightning began to build along his body at first, then connecting floor to ceiling.

    He unleashed it at Patient Zero, and the elemental meta screamed as powerful, dangerous voltage coursed through him, and he dropped the sledgehammer. His posse passed out as soon as the electricity touched them even slightly.

    But Patient Zero was still standing.

    Hatman began to slip even further into character, gesturing rapidly and making sounds again, this time some of them in Chinese, until the ceiling and floor began to heat up dangerously. The ceiling collapsed on Patient Zero just as the next volley of lightning burned his clothing to a crisp and finally rendered Patient Zero unconscious.

    He didn't bother to take off the hat before he raced over to check on Yuki. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice strangely accented.

    Yuki wanted to reassure him. She really did. But she couldn't move, and couldn't stop herself from crying because she felt helpless and fragile as the day she lost her human body, which to her was worse than being in prison.

    "I'm going to get you some help," he promised. He reached for his Lair Legion comm card and realized it was missing.

    "I have it," Chiaki told him, anticipating his question. She handed it back to him without any further explanation. "Help is on the way."

    And right on cue, it seemed as if a darkness descended upon the interior of the room, making it difficult to make out just what was at the other end, or if anything was there at all. The darkness folded in on itself as Liu Xi and a holographic Hallie stepped through.

    "Oh no," Hallie commented immediately upon scanning Yuki's body. "Yuki, you can borrow mine as long as you need it until Al makes another--"

    "It's not necessary," Liu Xi interrupted.

    Yuki looked down, and realized her neck could move again. Her head and joints no longer hurt either. The titanium bowl beneath her was missing, and in its place was small crushed bits of concrete. She took a deep breath and looked up at Liu Xi thankfully...at first. Then she turned angry.

    "If you would have been here like I asked you to," Yuki scolded her almost tearfully, "We wouldn't have had to fight someone so dangerous alone."

    Hallie looked at the two and pondered for a moment whether it might be better to retreat to her holographic drone and disappear.

    "I'm sorry," Liu Xi said. "I felt it wasn't my place--"

    "Next time I ask you to come along you damned well better," Yuki continued. "Because this being out of reach when people need you thing...it's not cute. It's not nice. And it's not something you do to friends."

    Liu Xi looked down sadly. She meant to say she was sorry again but she didn't want to interrupt Yuki.

    "And one more thing." Yuki stepped closer to Liu Xi and lifted her head up. "Thank you. I'm glad you did come when Chiaki asked."

    Hallie breathed a sigh of relief. "Anyone else need help?" she asked feebly.

    "She said you were badly hurt," Liu Xi replied almost tearfully. "I had no idea it was so bad. I feel terrible."

    Yuki sighed. "Maybe you'll think about that next time I ask you to come along?"

    Liu Xi nodded and looked down again. "Every time," she whispered. She looked at Hatman strangely, noting the huge hat he was wearing.

    Hatman spoke to her in perfect Chinese. He told her that Yuki was not trying to be cruel, she only meant for Liu Xi not to have to live with crippling regrets, with having missed a chance to save a friend. Liu Xi replied in Chinese, smiling, thanking him and telling him that maybe it was time he took off the hat.

    Luckily, Hatman did so just as the police came in to clean up the unconscious thugs. He spoke to them in English before returning to Liu Xi.

    "It wasn't just the hat," he told her. "I meant what I said. Though it was kind of fun talking to you in Chinese."

    "Maybe you should learn it then," Liu Xi offered. "I can teach you."

    Hatman smiled at that. "It would take me years just to learn to speak like you did at five years old."

    "I spoke pretty well at five years old," she pointed out.

    Chiaki was on her cell phone as the police began cleaning up. Once she was done making her call, she smiled at Hatman. "Akiko would like to invite all of us to dinner to thank us. And to share with us her intentions for Zero Street."

    "I hope she understands, but I'll have to pass," Hallie noted. She walked through a solid object in the room to emphasize her next point. "I'm not quite dressed for eating."

    Yuki chuckled at that. The moment of humor helped her mood quite a bit.

    "I hope it's not more bad news," Hatman mumbled.

    "Have faith." Chiaki smiled at him and gently patted him on the shoulder.

---

    Yuki sprang up the steps alone at Akiko's condo. She was thrilled to have her body back to normal again, and was reluctant to stand idly in an elevator hauling her up to the penthouse rather than getting there under her own power and enjoying the trip. She felt satisfied with herself when she arrived and realized that she had beaten the elevator.

    "Hi guys," she said in a gloating manner as the door slid open.

    Liu Xi, who had the ability to slip through the void an arrive at the top floor in an instant if she wished, ignored Yuki's showing off. Hatman raised an eyebrow, seeming momentarily impressed. Chiaki seemed unconcerned and not surprised as she usually did.

    Yuki shook her head and led the way to the door to the condo. "You guys are no fun," she complained as she rang the doorbell.

    Akiko opened the door wearing a bright pink kimono. Her hair was tied up with what looked like pink painted wooden sticks. "Good evening," she greeted them.

    Chiaki bowed, and Hatman did too, doing his best to try to be polite. Liu Xi bowed slightly too, and feeling left out, Yuki added one of her own.

    "Come in please," Akiko urged them. She closed the door behind her. "Dinner is ready," she said, and then she looked directly at Hatman. "We have much to discuss."

    She led them from the relatively small, unassuming foyer through a large living room with a raised ceiling and into a large dining room with a vaulted ceiling. A shiny, heavy wooden table was in the center surrounded by just enough chairs for the exact number of guests. No more chairs were visible.

    A few men and women dressed in pink and white appeared and affixed pink napkins to the guests and brought out the different foods and drinks. They disappeared just as quickly.

    "I believe you offered to tell us your plans for Zero Street," Hatman ventured.

    "Of course." Akiko nodded. She gave Chiaki an amused look. "He's very focused, isn't he?"

    Chiaki giggled and looked at Jay.

    "There has been a power vacuum for too long on Zero Street," Akiko said. "That's what created the opportunity for Patient Zero, with the Lynchpin's help, to take control so quickly."

    "Would it be any better with your gang taking control?" Hatman asked pointedly.

    "Perhaps." Akiko sighed. "But I find managing street operations to be exhausting and of little reward. I'll leave that to Frankie and his Zoot Suit Gang."

    Hatman was about to protest about that, but Yuki interrupted him.

    "At least we'd have a little control over the situation," Yuki pointed out. "Frankie talks to us...to me...at least."

    "That's why it is an ideal solution--" Akiko glanced at Hatman and then clarified. "--for the moment. Until the local police manage to break free of their ineptitude."

    "What about the Lynchpin?" Yuki asked.

    "He has suffered many setbacks as a result of this plan of his," Akiko noted. "Lost his venture into Paradopolis. Saw his primary bodyguard leave. Had his lunch stolen."

    "It may be some time before he decides to try again," Chiaki added. "And I'll be watching him."

    "How about telling me next time?" Hatman asked.

    Chiaki nodded. "I will," she said. "If I think you won't be harmed because if it."

    "Don't frown like that, Hatman," Akiko told him with a sly smile. "Chiaki really cares for you. That's why she protects you."

    Hatman looked at Chiaki for a moment. "I know," he replied seriously. Chiaki smiled.

    "Now that the cute couple stuff is over with," Yuki interrupted, ignoring the dirty looks from both Chiaki and Hatman, "I'd like to ask...why did you ask for our help specifically? Rather than the Lair Legion?"

    Akiko frowned. "As of yet the Lair Legion has been unsympathetic to my way of life," she said. She looked at Hatman as she spoke the rest. "My enemies would kill me if they could. Or at least destroy me and everything I worked for." She sighed and looked down at the table. "If that were to happen there are many believing themselves to be righteous who would consider it justice served."

    "Akiko--" Chiaki whispered.

    "No, Chiaki," Akiko interrupted her. "It has been something on my mind for far too long, and has taken on a new importance with your friendship with Hatman. I chose each of you specifically because I want you to see me with your own eyes. Hear me with your own ears. And if I do get what you may believe is coming to me...I want you to remember me, and that I treated each one of you with respect and honesty."

    Hatman looked at Chiaki for a moment, noting that she seemed a little sad after that speech. "Maybe I don't approve of your way of life," he said, "But--" He glanced at Yuki for a moment. "--Maybe Yuki is right, and sometimes things aren't so simply black and white. Look, what I'm saying is, I would never allow your life to be in jeopardy because of anything you or I might disagree on. You did welcome me to your family after all."

    Akiko smiled slightly. "Thank you, Hatman."

    By that time, the dinner was at its end, and everyone present had only remnants of dessert in front of them. The conversation turned much lighter with the air cleared between the two most opposites at the table. Talk turned from neighborhood business to something Akiko and Hatman could actually agree on - that the very poor people of Zero Street needed as much help as the neighborhood itself.

    Hatman began to reassess his opinion of Akiko, just a little, seeing her this way. He'd met the Lynchpin's people quite a few times - they were all heartless, cold, almost pure evil. And the Zoot Suit Gang seemed more concerned with having fun, entertaining themselves.

    He glanced at Akiko for a moment before leaning closer and whispering to her, 'You were right about Akiko'. She was right, in a sense. Every time she stood and defended her former employer and current friend. Jay knew that something had to inspire such loyalty, and it was quite a change in perspective to see the reason first-hand.

    "Are you tired?" Chiaki asked Hatman, gently placing a hand on his shoulder as she noticed him seem to zone out and tune out the conversation.

    "Maybe I had a little too much plum wine," he explained. His eyes were drooping a bit, and it was quite late. It was a long day, and their dinner lasted a long time. He noticed also that Liu Xi seemed a little bored, sitting across the table and playing with her empty wine glass.

    "Akiko," Chiaki said as she bowed slightly, "I'm glad to share your company but my companions had a long day."

    "As did I." Akiko smiled and nodded. "I suppose it is past time to retire for the night." She looked at Hatman and added, "Now that I can sleep soundly knowing no more of my valuable associates will be murdered while I sleep."

    Hatman stood slowly at first, his legs being half asleep, but balanced himself when he realized that Yuki was helping him up. She never had problems like that with her synthetic body. "I hope to see you again, only in better circumstances next time," he told Akiko.

    "You will." Akiko stood and bowed, and then dismissed the four of them and left to retire for the night.

---

    "What do you think she meant by that?" Hatman worried as he made their way down the street with Chiaki by his side. They lost Yuki and Liu Xi somewhere on the way out, and could only assume they took the 'short' way back courtesy of Liu Xi.

    Chiaki smiled. "She likes you."

    Hatman stopped and looked at her for a moment. "She likes me?" he asked. He took a deep breath and started walking again. "You know this whole thing just throws all my personal views into disarray. She's an organized crime figure but she's...so nice. I like her. How can I like a criminal?"

    "Do I have to give you the lecture?" Chiaki asked pointedly.

    "No," he replied quietly. "Sorry."

    "Then I'll answer your question instead." Chiaki added. "You'll have to change your world views, Jay. I changed your views on love and sex just a little. And did you enjoy the experience?"

    "Yes," he agreed reluctantly.

    "There are things you simply have to accept," Chiaki continued. "Sometimes you have to have faith and refuse to allow personal feelings to interfere. Sometimes when you have a question in your mind, or a disturbance, or a concern, it's best not to ask."

    A car came to a screeching stop next to them, and Yuki looked out of the driver's side window. That wouldn't have been at all odd if it wasn't a Paradopolis Police traffic unit car. Liu Xi watched them from the back seat - she wasn't confined there since traffic units weren't designed to transport prisoners.

    "You guys want a ride back to the mansion?" Yuki asked.

    Chiaki gave Hatman an amused smile, trying her best not to laugh. "This would be one of those times, Jay."

    Jay quietly moved close to the driver's side. "You are going to take it back?" He whispered to Yuki.

    "Of course," Yuki replied. "I have to pick up my motorcycle."

    After that, Jay didn't want to continue the line of questioning. It was clear that Chiaki was absolutely correct this time. He quickly took the offer from Liu Xi to sit in the back seat, since Chiaki had already taken the front passenger side. Besides, he figured that way he didn't have to think about Yuki's driving.

    "Interesting evening, eh?" Jay asked Liu Xi. He was tired of wearing his Hatman cap by then, so he handed it to her. "Here, you can borrow this till we get back."

    She put the cap on her head, but gave him a quick look of protest. "I'm not much younger than you are," she pointed out in a soft, accented voice. "I'm not a kid."

    "I know, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I guess I tend to go into super hero mentor mode sometimes."

    "Jay?" Liu Xi added one more thing. "I think I'm a little drunk."

    Jay laughed at that. "Have you ever been drunk before?"

    She shook her head. "I feel warm," she said, "And things I wish I could do...I feel like I really want to do."

    "Alcohol causes reduced inhibition," Jay pointed out.

    Liu Xi seemed to ponder that for a moment. "Can I give you a little kiss?" she asked.

    Jay leaned over, presenting his cheek for Liu Xi to kiss. He didn't expect it at all when she gently took his chin and pressed herself against him, kissing him for what seemed like a full minute or more. He didn't stop it right away because it proved to be a surprisingly and dangerously talented kiss.

    "I'm sorry," Liu Xi whispered, a slight nervous laugh to her voice. "I...meant to stop right away. I guess I liked it too much."

    He didn't reply at first, and leaned back against the seat with his eyes closed.

    "Are you upset?" Liu Xi asked, the tone of her voice hoping the answer was no.

    "I'm not," he whispered. "I'm...surprised," he admitted. He didn't want to admit that he was secretly curious and intrigued by what else she might be capable of, but he tried to clear his mind of that.

    "You're Hatman." Liu Xi put the cap back on his head. "You thrive on surprises."

    Jay couldn't help but smile at that rather interesting summary. He noted that the car had finally come to a stop.

    "We're here," Yuki announced. "You two can get a room now," she joked.

    Liu Xi gasped and leaned into the front seat, shoving Yuki. "Don't you dare tell anyone," she scolded.

    "Hmm." Yuki considered that for a moment. "Yeah, you're right. It's no fun embarrassing you or Jay." She waited for Chiaki, Liu Xi, and Jay to exit before she drove away to return the car as promised.

    Chiaki gave Jay a silent but knowing grin and walked ahead of him to the mansion.

    "Liu Xi, I have to ask you seriously," Jay began, "Did you mean anything by what you did or were you just playing with me?"

    Liu Xi sighed and frowned for just a fleeting moment before looking Jay in the eye. "I'm sorry for what I did." she told him. "I know you have a girlfriend and I have no desire to interfere."

    "Okay." Jay nodded once. "But that's not what I asked."

    She smiled slightly at that one. "I thought an apology would be enough but you really want to know what I was thinking."

    He nodded again.

    "I wanted to get your attention," she replied frankly. "So if you find yourself lonely again someday perhaps you'll remember me."

    "There are quite a lot of girls who seem to be waiting in line for that," he admitted. "Though Jenni and Trudi Wooster keep trying to cut in line."

    "I know." Liu Xi nodded. "Jay, you misinterpret my intentions. I don't want sex, or fame, or marriage. I'm not ready for any of that. I only wish for a companion, even just for a little while, so I don't have to feel so lonely in this world, and you're the closest thing I know right now." She considered her own words for a moment before turning to head into the mansion. "Have a good night, Jay."

    "Liu Xi." Jay waited until she turned around. "It's nice to hear you speak to me from your heart," he said. "It means a lot."

    She nodded and waited for Jay to catch up with her, and smiled when he opened the door for her. "I wish you good dreams," she said just before they parted ways in the entrance hall.

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason posts yet another conclusion Sat Jan 14, 2006 at 01:28:51 pm EST	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Act Of Desperation, Part 4

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